YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE - What worked for me?

"You Were Never Really Here" might be my favourite movie of the year. It's a complete masterpiece of visual storytelling with barely any dialogue and a superb score.

Nothing I've seen this year has been quite like it. Joe's backstory is given through flashbacks and Joaquin Phoenix's marvelous performance. At no point does anyone ever ask him, "Hey, remember the war you were in?" Since the movie is adapted from a novel, this is the strongest point for me to take home after watching it. I'm sure the novel deals with Joe's backstory in a more straightforward way, but the plot in the movie is only the present and that's the story. I need to keep this in mind for my own work. Though I've done hours of world building, only some of it is truly ever a part of any story I tell. I only really need to bring it out to build character.

The soundtrack and score also works with each scene naturally and envelops the audience. Johnny Greenwood laid out some master work here. Sometimes, it even breaks the fourth wall, and normally I'm not a fan of that, but for once I actually liked that. Perhaps I'm coming around to it. It's right at the very beginning of the movie and it's such a good song.

The plot is fairly straightforward, based on what few scenes there are that are needed to depict it. The devil's in the details here, and it's totally worth the watch.

WRITING: Lessons from editing

In a previous post I spoke about the difficulty of editing one of my longer pieces into something shorter for an assignment.

It ultimately started when a friend read it and told me her focuses that I shaped the edit around. I had several trajectories of where the story could head based on what would be cut, but I'm glad the direction it took based on her objective feedback.

Unfortunately, this meant cutting my first scene entirely. There was far too much description and detail, and (while I love it and still do and think there's nothing wrong with it,) for this short-short story format it wasn't really necessary. In the process I learned a lesson about writing a beginning. When I was first writing it, I went back to add the extra detail scene because my main character's felt too artificial, like they didn't arrive there at the same time or something. In the re-write/cut it was far more natural, since the story was completed and I knew what the characters would be accomplishing,.

I ended up keeping all the elements that were important to me: the plot, side plots, and a random tangent. I learned that a reader won't know what I cut, what was changed from the older versions. While I do appreciate the detail I ended up scrapping, it's taught me a lesson on what's really required to write a story. It doesn't take much, really, just a character and a problem. All that detail I created can be added to the wiki.

My Reading and Writing Goals for July 2018

My reading and writing goals for July:

• Blog at least twice a week
• Edit my wiki at least once a week
• Enjoy summer

Blaring heat from the sun led us into a beautiful beginning to the month of July. Yesterday I saw a beautiful fireworks display at Amesbury Park, which is something I haven't checked out in years. The show lasted twelve minutes and progressed to an impressive finale.

About last months goals: I only completed one of them. I didn't end up blogging at least twice or three times a week like I wanted (but I was close), I didn't finish reading my novel, and I didn't submit a short story per week to my class (one week missed). However, I did edit my "long" story and submitted it as my last assignment. It was a task far more difficult than I thought it would be. 

For July I'll focus on keeping things simpler. I'll still try blogging at least twice a week. On top of that, I'll make a weekly edit to the wiki, and I'll keep track of what I do and mention it in next month's goals post. Lastly, I'll be starting on my Novel Writing class this month. It's also my birthday month, so keeping things simple for now while I don't know my workload or plans yet is probably the best route.

Happy July! 

A squirming Smokey

WRITING: How edit?

The longest short story I have ever wrote is 19 pages double spaced or 4362 words. My task this weekend is to make it 10 pages double spaced. So what do I cut? Everything within the story seems important right now and I'm having a hard time deciding what to do.

I'll admit that there's a lot of backstory right now. How much of it do I need? Does Frances need to pine over Freddic back home? Probably not, but that changes the ending. What about Frances' childhood?

Whatever I end up doing, I can't seem to make a simple cut and retain the story as is. I guess my apprehension stems from laziness. I had the same problem with my last class, being reluctant to change things, but the end result of that was fantastic. I'd never go back to that draft I edited, and I hope writing this out helps me remember that.

Seems like I'm distracting myself right now...

WRITING: Worldbuilding and Wiki Worries

Am I world building enough? (to be clear, I mean updating my world wiki) The answer, is a bit of yes and no.

I feel like the progress and strides I made the past few weeks have completely stalled. My focus has been with trudging through the list of wanted pages (pages which are linked to but don't exist yet) and bringing them to life. This usually means writing a sentence or two, creating a parent page, and adding tags. It's made me feel accomplished, in a way, but I think what's unsatisfactory about it is I have no other goal right now other than completing the list.

When I started the wiki, it was recommended to me to start with a small place, like a bar, and then expand outward, asking questions like "what street is it on?" "who are the neighbours?" and moving outwards like that until you're at the continent level, then planetary level, and etcetera. Instead, I started with a city and moved outward from there. As a result, I have the name of the continent and the twelve countries, as well as the Empire and some politics. But ask me to walk you through Amherst and I'd have trouble telling you where the cheapest meat vendor is.

Did I make a mistake? No, I don't think I did; after all, I could always pick a building in some town and try the recommended process like that. What I've found most useful for my writing is actually the names I came up with for the countries. The more I write, the more solid these countries feel. 

I did write another story (for class) taking place in fantasyland. Writing is the simplest, most organic form of world building, but in the first draft I included far too much back story. On the stripped-down second draft, the town, a border, a road, a supply chain, a city and a country become more fleshed out than ever in my wiki. This is the most progress I've had in a while, and I'm now satisfied.

What's the next step? I'm not sure. I have a general sense of the world now, countries, names of towns. Is it so important to establish 700 years of supply chain routes and guild leaders? Maybe not, if it doesn't come up in the story. Not sure how I feel about this sentiment since it might mean a world that feels less lived-in. 

WRITING: I wrote a poem!

On the subway ride to class yesterday, I wrote a poem in my notebook. I don't think I've written a poem since elementary school, and you might be able to tell. I picked the syllables per line (5) and subject (my headache) and let it happen.

It went kind of like this:

And here it is:

Each step brings the pain
A curt reminder
That I'll be insane

Choice priorities
New gear and gimmicks
Head not in the knees

The fight for balance
In march and in life
Add to my talents

How was that? *dodges tomato thrown at stage*

Some lines are literal (too literal?), such as the first one. On the other hand, I have no idea what I meant "Head not in the knees." That means it's profound, I think.

What's interesting is next week for class we are reading examples of poetry to get a grasp on how writers use language and the ways it can be manipulated. I've been desiring to read poetry for a while now, specifically The Illiad, but I haven't found a translation I enjoy so far. Almost all of the ones I found have translated it into prose, which I suppose is correct in a way, but I really want to enjoy it as a poem. Really sink my teeth into the words and read something for what it is, that is, words. I don't want to read it passively, either. Just to study the art of word structure and the images that they can invoke on their own without the confines of prose. I'll find it one day.

LIFE: Dance Gavin Dance @ Danforth Music Hall

On June 11, 2018 I saw Dance Gavin Dance at the Danforth Music Hall.

I'll begin again by saying "I don't listen to the band." I actually went to see the second opener, Erra. I arrived more or less just in time to see them and I'm glad I didn't miss it since they were magnificent. Their setlist mostly contained songs from their latest album "Drift," but they also played a new song that I hadn't heard before. I'm a little surprised by how lively the crowd was, definitely happy about that, it seems a lot of people are familiar with the group. I think Erra stole the show, however, I'm bias since they are one of my favourite bands.

Next up was I See Stars, and I have mixed feelings about these guys. On the one hand, the venue was alive when they were playing. Everyone was moving; shaking their hips or at least headbanging. But on the other, I couldn't get into the lead's voice. It was raw, but it felt untrained, and not in a good way. I did like their song "White Lies," though (I had to ask someone what it was called). That song featured the lead and the keyboardist/programmer singing together and the call and response worked well. It was just something about the group. While it was flashy with a great light show, the band was constantly lit as a silhouette. It was weird, for example, during "White Lies," when I couldn't differentiate the two vocalists really. The music was otherwise basic and I couldn't get into it.

Finally, though, was Dance Gavin Dance. Now to explain when I said I don't listen to them: I've only listened to them for the past two weeks and exclusively to their setlist. I was prepared, and just like the audience, I was bouncing all over the place to the music. It's so fantastic to be in a crowd so invigorated like that. At one point, there was two pits, but I lost my energy rather quickly and resigned to the edge of one. The band was having a good time as well, with both leads dancing to the music as often as they could (I've always liked it when singers who don't play instruments dance during their sets. It's like the only thing they can do besides sing and it's awesome.)

That being said, I'm not sure I would go see another DGD concert. Maybe I would if the openers were as good as these. I'm disappointed I missed Sianvar, though. It turns out A Lot Like Birds' guitarist is Sianvar's bassist, so I bought their two releases at the merch stand at the end of the show. Altogher, it was a great night and happy I saw Erra play and hear one of their new songs.