WRITING: Lessons from editing

In a previous post I spoke about the difficulty of editing one of my longer pieces into something shorter for an assignment.

It ultimately started when a friend read it and told me her focuses that I shaped the edit around. I had several trajectories of where the story could head based on what would be cut, but I'm glad the direction it took based on her objective feedback.

Unfortunately, this meant cutting my first scene entirely. There was far too much description and detail, and (while I love it and still do and think there's nothing wrong with it,) for this short-short story format it wasn't really necessary. In the process I learned a lesson about writing a beginning. When I was first writing it, I went back to add the extra detail scene because my main character's felt too artificial, like they didn't arrive there at the same time or something. In the re-write/cut it was far more natural, since the story was completed and I knew what the characters would be accomplishing,.

I ended up keeping all the elements that were important to me: the plot, side plots, and a random tangent. I learned that a reader won't know what I cut, what was changed from the older versions. While I do appreciate the detail I ended up scrapping, it's taught me a lesson on what's really required to write a story. It doesn't take much, really, just a character and a problem. All that detail I created can be added to the wiki.

My Reading and Writing Goals for July 2018

My reading and writing goals for July:

• Blog at least twice a week
• Edit my wiki at least once a week
• Enjoy summer

Blaring heat from the sun led us into a beautiful beginning to the month of July. Yesterday I saw a beautiful fireworks display at Amesbury Park, which is something I haven't checked out in years. The show lasted twelve minutes and progressed to an impressive finale.

About last months goals: I only completed one of them. I didn't end up blogging at least twice or three times a week like I wanted (but I was close), I didn't finish reading my novel, and I didn't submit a short story per week to my class (one week missed). However, I did edit my "long" story and submitted it as my last assignment. It was a task far more difficult than I thought it would be. 

For July I'll focus on keeping things simpler. I'll still try blogging at least twice a week. On top of that, I'll make a weekly edit to the wiki, and I'll keep track of what I do and mention it in next month's goals post. Lastly, I'll be starting on my Novel Writing class this month. It's also my birthday month, so keeping things simple for now while I don't know my workload or plans yet is probably the best route.

Happy July! 

A squirming Smokey

WRITING: How edit?

The longest short story I have ever wrote is 19 pages double spaced or 4362 words. My task this weekend is to make it 10 pages double spaced. So what do I cut? Everything within the story seems important right now and I'm having a hard time deciding what to do.

I'll admit that there's a lot of backstory right now. How much of it do I need? Does Frances need to pine over Freddic back home? Probably not, but that changes the ending. What about Frances' childhood?

Whatever I end up doing, I can't seem to make a simple cut and retain the story as is. I guess my apprehension stems from laziness. I had the same problem with my last class, being reluctant to change things, but the end result of that was fantastic. I'd never go back to that draft I edited, and I hope writing this out helps me remember that.

Seems like I'm distracting myself right now...

WRITING: Worldbuilding and Wiki Worries

Am I world building enough? (to be clear, I mean updating my world wiki) The answer, is a bit of yes and no.

I feel like the progress and strides I made the past few weeks have completely stalled. My focus has been with trudging through the list of wanted pages (pages which are linked to but don't exist yet) and bringing them to life. This usually means writing a sentence or two, creating a parent page, and adding tags. It's made me feel accomplished, in a way, but I think what's unsatisfactory about it is I have no other goal right now other than completing the list.

When I started the wiki, it was recommended to me to start with a small place, like a bar, and then expand outward, asking questions like "what street is it on?" "who are the neighbours?" and moving outwards like that until you're at the continent level, then planetary level, and etcetera. Instead, I started with a city and moved outward from there. As a result, I have the name of the continent and the twelve countries, as well as the Empire and some politics. But ask me to walk you through Amherst and I'd have trouble telling you where the cheapest meat vendor is.

Did I make a mistake? No, I don't think I did; after all, I could always pick a building in some town and try the recommended process like that. What I've found most useful for my writing is actually the names I came up with for the countries. The more I write, the more solid these countries feel. 

I did write another story (for class) taking place in fantasyland. Writing is the simplest, most organic form of world building, but in the first draft I included far too much back story. On the stripped-down second draft, the town, a border, a road, a supply chain, a city and a country become more fleshed out than ever in my wiki. This is the most progress I've had in a while, and I'm now satisfied.

What's the next step? I'm not sure. I have a general sense of the world now, countries, names of towns. Is it so important to establish 700 years of supply chain routes and guild leaders? Maybe not, if it doesn't come up in the story. Not sure how I feel about this sentiment since it might mean a world that feels less lived-in. 

WRITING: I wrote a poem!

On the subway ride to class yesterday, I wrote a poem in my notebook. I don't think I've written a poem since elementary school, and you might be able to tell. I picked the syllables per line (5) and subject (my headache) and let it happen.

It went kind of like this:

And here it is:

Each step brings the pain
A curt reminder
That I'll be insane

Choice priorities
New gear and gimmicks
Head not in the knees

The fight for balance
In march and in life
Add to my talents

How was that? *dodges tomato thrown at stage*

Some lines are literal (too literal?), such as the first one. On the other hand, I have no idea what I meant "Head not in the knees." That means it's profound, I think.

What's interesting is next week for class we are reading examples of poetry to get a grasp on how writers use language and the ways it can be manipulated. I've been desiring to read poetry for a while now, specifically The Illiad, but I haven't found a translation I enjoy so far. Almost all of the ones I found have translated it into prose, which I suppose is correct in a way, but I really want to enjoy it as a poem. Really sink my teeth into the words and read something for what it is, that is, words. I don't want to read it passively, either. Just to study the art of word structure and the images that they can invoke on their own without the confines of prose. I'll find it one day.

LIFE: Dance Gavin Dance @ Danforth Music Hall

On June 11, 2018 I saw Dance Gavin Dance at the Danforth Music Hall.

I'll begin again by saying "I don't listen to the band." I actually went to see the second opener, Erra. I arrived more or less just in time to see them and I'm glad I didn't miss it since they were magnificent. Their setlist mostly contained songs from their latest album "Drift," but they also played a new song that I hadn't heard before. I'm a little surprised by how lively the crowd was, definitely happy about that, it seems a lot of people are familiar with the group. I think Erra stole the show, however, I'm bias since they are one of my favourite bands.

Next up was I See Stars, and I have mixed feelings about these guys. On the one hand, the venue was alive when they were playing. Everyone was moving; shaking their hips or at least headbanging. But on the other, I couldn't get into the lead's voice. It was raw, but it felt untrained, and not in a good way. I did like their song "White Lies," though (I had to ask someone what it was called). That song featured the lead and the keyboardist/programmer singing together and the call and response worked well. It was just something about the group. While it was flashy with a great light show, the band was constantly lit as a silhouette. It was weird, for example, during "White Lies," when I couldn't differentiate the two vocalists really. The music was otherwise basic and I couldn't get into it.

Finally, though, was Dance Gavin Dance. Now to explain when I said I don't listen to them: I've only listened to them for the past two weeks and exclusively to their setlist. I was prepared, and just like the audience, I was bouncing all over the place to the music. It's so fantastic to be in a crowd so invigorated like that. At one point, there was two pits, but I lost my energy rather quickly and resigned to the edge of one. The band was having a good time as well, with both leads dancing to the music as often as they could (I've always liked it when singers who don't play instruments dance during their sets. It's like the only thing they can do besides sing and it's awesome.)

That being said, I'm not sure I would go see another DGD concert. Maybe I would if the openers were as good as these. I'm disappointed I missed Sianvar, though. It turns out A Lot Like Birds' guitarist is Sianvar's bassist, so I bought their two releases at the merch stand at the end of the show. Altogher, it was a great night and happy I saw Erra play and hear one of their new songs.

WRITING: Re-introductions and Character

So I'm reading "Before They are Hanged" by Joe Ambercrombie, which is the second book of the "First Law" Trilogy, and as such all the major players have already been introduced in the first one.

But the one thing I've noticed is the way Joe re-introduces these characters to the reader: he makes it seem quick and easy.

The first time we hear from Jezal is in the following passage:

Jezal gave vent to a ragged sigh. Why on earth the old man had undertaken to enlighten him was past his understanding. The towering self-interest, perhaps, of the mildly senile was to blame. In any case, Jezal was unshakable in his determination not to learn a thing.

It's also Jezal's perception of Bayaz, first of the Magi who is the "old man" being referred to here. The use of the word ragged to describe his sigh gives a tell about his mannerisms, and directly how he feels about this situation. Us being told he doesn't want to learn a thing reveals how he thinks about things that aren't already known to him. He has things figured out already.

This one shows us what he thinks about the setting, Calcis:

Jezal glanced around him, unimpressed in the extreme. If history was nothing more than age, then Calcis, ancient city-port of the Old Empire, was plainly rich with it. If history went further—to grandeur, to glory, to something which stirred the blood—then it was conspicuously absent.

This is how we find out about the city, through his perspective, and how he simply doesn't care for it's past and history. Through his apathy we learn about the setting itself. This is the first time we really hear anything about Calcis in the series.

Let's take a look at Brother Longfoot, their navigator, along with Logen Ninefingers, in conversation. We already know that Logen is a badass, but this is how we are re-introduced to him:

Brother Longfoot grinned over his shoulder at this sorry display. 'How are your injuries progressing, my friend?

'Painfully,' grunted Logen, through gritted teeth.

'And yet, I suspect, you have endured worse.'

'Huh.'

The wounds of the past were many. He'd spent most of his life in some amount of pain, healing too slowly from one beating or another. He remembered the first real wound he'd ever taken, a cut down his face that the Shanka had given him. Fifteen years old, lean and smooth-skinned and the girls in the village had still liked to look at him. He touched his thumb to his face and felt the old scar. He remembered his father pressing the bandage to his cheek in the smoky hall, the stinging of it, wanting to shout but biting his lip. A man stays silent.

That last part - A man stays silent was a superb line. What we learn is that Logen carries a great weight of the past with him, and that he's lived a hard life. He's also one to meet expectations, and not exceed them. He knows his place. All of this with one paragraph.

I'd like to examine these more since I think this is a useful technique when writing short stories. Get to the point with the characters. Who are they, what motivates them, and what do they care about?