LIFE: Diabetes Hope Foundation's 20th Anniversary Symposium

Since receiving a scholarship from the the Diabetes Hope Foundation (DHF) in 2009, I've had the personal benefit of volunteering for them ever since. This includes being part of the Scholarship Advisory Committee, where we read and select winners for their eponymous scholarship.

I really enjoy reading the scholarships. Everyone has their own story with their diabetes and I absolutely love learning about each and every one. The choices this year were difficult to make as most of the applications were top-notch.

This effort all culminated on June 3, 2018, where the DHF celebrated their 20th anniversary for their Scholarship Program. The day couldn't have gone better.

It began early in the morning at 9 AM, where I watched a panel discussion among our alumni who focus on teaching and mental health. I learned a lot from that! Did you know you can request to waive the standard 3-month waiting period before receiving benefits from your work if you play the diabetes card? What about using your diabetes as a way to prove your skills in an interview? Time management and self-care being some of those. I never thought about doing that before. Thank you, panel.

As for myself, I was on the panel for "Math, Technology, and Engineering." Why I was selected is a bit beyond me, although I suppose my career does require a Science degree. The panel discussion went well; our moderator took us off-script for a bit and asked us some good questions. I had nothing prepared but felt I pulled it off. I know my story very well.

The reception in general was very nicely put together. As well, the weather was cooperating. The sweltering heat of the previous week did not show itself to us, and in the old Hart House at U of T, that was a godsend. 

The evening concluded with the Scholarship Awards Ceremony. There were five keynote speakers, each sharing their diabetes stories and their own struggles and advice with the new 2018 winners. They were both entertaining and inspiring, striking all the right chords with the audience. I saw a few people's eyes welling up with tears (do I count my own?) Even a bird flew into the hall during the festivities to be a part of the audience.

I'm also glad my girlfriend was able to attend. I really wanted her to meet the amazing people I know through the DHF, and see what the group is all about. Introducing her to my diabetic family, so to speak.

Another year, another ceremony, but that's not it for 2018. Coming up soon will be the Scholarship Committee's debrief for this year as well as what we want to change for the next application coming up. 

Thank you to the DHF for accepting me in the family and giving me the opportunity to be a part of it all. I truly love the experience of being a part of this community. 

My Reading and Writing Goals for June

A summary of my goals:

• Finish reading "Before They Are Hanged" by Joe Ambercrombie
• Write three "3-5" page short stories
• Edit my "long" short story and submit it to class
• Blog every other day (two or three times a week)

A lot has changed for me in May on the reading and writing side of my life. I started blogging on Wordpress, and intend to more frequently. I started my Creative Writing Through Reading class and I'm very pleased with how that's going. I also completed the longest short story I've ever written, which is definitely a big accomplishment for me. I also finished reading "The Blade Itself" and started reading the next book in the trilogy, "Before They Are Hanged" all thanks to ebooks!

I want to read the novel by the end of the month. I think I can pull this off simply by getting in as much reading as I can with the found time method: if I have time to open the app on my phone, I have time to read any amount of the story. Anything. Let's just finish this, okay?

I have my class to worry about now when it comes to writing. That's two assignments, and on top of that I'm encouraged to submit work each week of class and I want to do that at least twice. That means I need to submit a short story every week of the month.

I'm fortunate that the final assignment aligns with my goal of finalizing a second draft of the aforementioned short story. I'll be making a readable version of that story to hand in and get some feedback for. One interesting thing for me is that I wrote half of that story by hand in a notebook, a new technique to me I've been enjoying. In fact, that's the case for almost all my blog posts. It's as if my wrist thought of what to write by itself. It comes out horribly, but at least I get it out of my system and by the time I transcribe it to a word processor it's at least half-readable.

I want to blog at least every other day. I'll take days off on weekends, maybe, so that will be about two or three posts a week.

This month I'll also be reflecting on how I'm spending my time and how I can fit in more time with physical books. Can I do it? Find out next month!

LIFE: Slayer @ Budweiser Stage

Slayer performed their last concert at Toronto's Budweiser Stage on May 29, 2018 and I was fortunate enough to watch them.

I never listened to Slayer before, but I do now. To prepare for the show, I queued up their setlist in a Spotify playlist and it didn't take long for me to head bang listening to those killer riffs.

I don't normally drive to these things, even to such out-of-the-way / poor-transit-options places such as the Bud Stage, but leaving work at 5 made it the only practical option. Besides, once I got there, and much to my dismay, everyone else was doing it. Lakeshore was crowded and so were the closest parking lots. I managed to find a parking lot on the Exhibition grounds for $12, which is far too reasonable, and made the "far" 10 minute walk over to the venue.

Anthrax was playing when I arrived, and of course I'm not familiar with their work, but I did know that one song that was playing as I was reaching my seat. In my section, 14 kilometres from the stage, people were sitting for most of their act, except for the last song. Then, with all of us standing, the band led us to sing "Oh Canada." The crowd even diverged during the French and English parts. I stood there, silent and impressed, and also respectful, I hope, since I was tempted to sit. From what I saw, Anthrax was excellent, with enough energy to get me excited to see the rest of the show. They're another band to add to my list.

Next up was Lamb of God, and my section stood up for them. On my left was a guy built like a fridge, and he was standing comfortably next to my buddy who got there just in time to my right. That left me to stand behind them, this wall of men, and there was no where else to go for any of us. I tried not to let that ruin the show for me, but I was quite uncomfortable, and my legs were starting to ache - I wanted to dance, to mosh, but we were all standing, and I was standing in the worst possible position. Besides that though, Lamb of God performed well, enjoyable to watch and listen even though I only knew their song "Laid to Rest."

Slayer (f*ckin' Slayerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr), was last, of course. I wasn't going to let discomfort get to me, so when they started, I stood quickly in front of the man-wall. I thought I screwed over the fridge next to me, but in actuality the arrangement was more comfortable for everyone involved. Thank goodness I got that out of the way.

But how was their performance? Superb. They nailed the large-stadium format nicely, with pyrotechnics and a great stage presence that I could only tell from the screens (see above). My neck hurts from headbanging.

The night ended with tears in Tom Araya's eyes as he said goodbye to Toronto from the stage for the last time. I held it together. The woman in our row next to my buddy said he has the nicest smile in the industry. I have to agree, and seeing him well up and say thank you to us was touching.

I'm glad and feeling blessed I had the chance to see them at all. I'm not a major fan of the venue, but it's the best performance I've seen from the crappy seats. The three bands I saw played really well and I'd consider seeing them again. Wish I could say the same for Slayer, but that was quite the final send off. No complaints. Cheers.

WRITING: Showing and Telling

I've always believed in showing and not telling when writing: let the characters act, and let the reader think about it their own way. That's the beauty of writing, isn't it? To share with the reader an abstract idea, and let them think about what you wrote. Like a movie, right?

I can't help but notice that my most recent works are almost all action, with very little summary. I would get a certain pleasure and satisfaction from writing a solid scene, where the characters just acted naturally, and I simply wrote down what they were doing. I used summary (or "telling") as a way of glossing over something, or as a means to get the next scene rolling. When I wrote out the actual action instead, the story evolved organically. In writing in action-mode-only, sometimes that scene I wanted to happen, the one I planned for, couldn't, and thus the resulting plot felt far more realistic. I was using summary as a crux, and not using it properly.

We learned in class this week that it's not always so cut and dry. That the summary, the telling, is almost as important as the showing. This was a breath of fresh air for me!

You want to summarize when your characters are doing something habitual, or something that isn't happening presently. We looked at "This is Happy" by Camila Gibb to see what this means.

In order to know someone who is at some level unknowable, you must leave yourself wide open. If you don't, you foreclose the possibility of learning something critical about this person you need, your parent, the person upon whom your survival depends. It's like time-laps photography; your lens at maximum aperture in order to capture something fleeting and elusive. The problem becomes one of calibration. How to protect yourself in the process. How to capture something without going blind.

In the above passage, that's all "telling." An interesting anecdote about people.

This next one blends telling and showing:

We were too young to understand what was happening. My father came over a year in advance to find a job and a place for us to live. I cried when this strange man lifted me up at the airport. Three months after our arrival, a package arrived from my paternal grandmother. She was a great maker of fudge and had sent us a box of it. I remember the sense of anticipation as my moher peeled back the lid and the collective disappointment as the contents were revealed: green and furry, having spent six weeks on a ship. I understood, somehow, that something between here and there had been broken.

Camila effortlessly does this throughout the excerpt we read, the strategic use of showing and telling in the same paragraph. She very broadly introduces a concept and inserts specific instances to back it up, to show us what she means. It's quite a treat to read.

If I can bring up one final example, it will be from what I'm currently reading, "Before They are Hanged" by Joe Abercrombie:

'Merchants,' grunted Harker. All the merchants in the world, it looks like. They crowded round stalls laden with produce, great scales for the weighing of materials, blackboards with chalked-in goods and prices. They bellowed, borrowed and bartered in a multitude of different languages, threw up their hands in strange gestures, shoved and tugged and pointed at one another. They sniffed at boxes of spice and sticks of incense, fingered at bolts of cloth and planks of rare wood, squeezed at fruits, bit at coins, peered through eye-glasses at flashing gemstones. Here and there a native porter stumbled through the crowds, stooped under a massive load.

In this scene, Glotka is walking towards the seat of power in Dagoska, and taking in the sights as he walks by. It's an excellent way to describe the city to the reader, with Glotka being a fish-out-of-water, this is as new to us as it is him. That being said, the merchants are quite well animated here, and I imagine each of their gestures and actions being incredibly important to them. How would Glotka know, though? So all we get is this summary.

"Telling" is a lot like essay writing. It's what textbooks do. It's what I'm doing right now. But it's no less important than "showing." I'm glad I finally learned that, and I hope I can practice it soon.

WORLDBUILDING: Map Making

I tried drawing a Medieval city for the first time.

Truthfully, the visual aspect of my world is the most challenging for me. I find my best images come out in text, either in a story or on the wiki, though I wish I could be more picturesque about it. I think the settings I create in my head are too simple.

I've run one D&D campaign in my life and for the most part got by with Googling "large d&d city map" or "free d&d dungeon map." For my writing of Fantasyland I haven't bothered to make any maps of my own.

I suppose it's because I wanted my imagination to take my characters where they need to be and where they would just go naturally. It works, and I'm not sure a visual map might make things easier. However, I wonder what kind of stories I can write with a map in front of me.

So I opened up this video which sat in my "Watch Later" queue on Youtube for far too long and followed along with The Questing Beast to varying success. His idea is to build the city organically. That means to start with a main road, and as the city becomes more important, some roads will lead to that road. As people begin to settle, they'll want to take shortcuts to the roads, and that's because buildings are in their way. For our purposes, we do the roads first and then the buildings. What results is beautiful, in that satisfaction-is-beauty kind of way.

My first map looked like my first map ought to look. The roads are far too wide, contributing to the strange X-shape from overhead. Still, it might be a cool concept for some type of town at a crossroads.

My next map I tried something a little differently. When it came time to divide the blocks of buildings to face the roads, I penciled in some of the main roads, just as a reminder of where the people were walking. I found that this created a more natural feel to my design of the city, and I think it shows. This one makes a bit more sense to me. And it looks a bit like a Fish Head.

Cities, or neighborhoods within cities today might be better off designed in such a way. A city looks nicer when citizens determine where buildings go based on their foot traffic. It's nice to walk everywhere, a city is for the people living in it, after all.

I'm looking forward to drawing more maps in the future. I've always enjoyed city-building games like Cities: Skylines and Lethis: Path of Progress, and to be honest I got the same sort of excitement making these pictures. Fish Head city might become the setting of my next Frances story. In it, he'll find himself investigating a crime. I was going to set it in Amherst, but I think it might be fun to develop Fish Head city more and figure out what all those buildings do.

Canada Day ~~~

The worst part about reading an ebook at work is returning to your desk like you didn't just come across the ultimate meaning of the universe in the bathroom.

Luckily, I was in my bed when I finished Stephen King's "The Dark Tower." What a great series it was! I felt it's best parts came and passed into some questionable parts, however, overall the series sits well with me. I'll recommend it to anyone.

I especially like the meaning I got from it, being that what we create ultimately becomes some form of reality.

It made me think of what I best liked about video games, specifically MMOs, and of course it's becoming immersed into another reality. There exists some no greater entertainment than truly experiencing the scenery, along with the accompaniment of the score. Perhaps that's why I'm into LOTRO right now; I just love Middle-Earth. I love the sights and the sounds and life and breath of the world.

Today is Canada Day ~ Happy 150th! Enjoy!!

I quit WoW (again)

I quit WoW again. Haven't we all at some point? What's different this time around was that I quit even though I was having fun.

That may sound strange, and believe me, it was strange for me as well. After all, isn't the point of gaming to have fun?

You said it, Xal'atath

Allow me to provide some context.

I had subscribed to WoW for a year, as in, two 6-month subscriptions. This was in preparation for Legion, since I expected I wouldn't be able to put it down. I was completely wrong about that assumption, for two months into the new expansion, I was bored. Perhaps a reader could tell, based on my "play more than one MMO" post. I just wasn't into it.

Legion, as most will know, was the first time WoW introduced a non-linear leveling system, where one can level anywhere they wanted to, since the content would scale to your level. This was great up until I hit level 110, where I found myself dying quite a bit. I can only speculate that the scaled content was meant for a better geared level 110, or a stronger class; the power level of mobs vastly differed from 109 to 110. Whatever it was, I was dying. Dying was boring. Killing one mob at a time was boring. I hated it.

That was, until a few of my buddies got together and ran some Heroic dungeons with me. That's right, I couldn't even do Heroic because I had to grind for gear in regular dungeons and I sucked too much. But, once I got the gear, I could finally finish questing! Multi-mob kills! It was a great feeling.

I was chugging and grinding happily along, but what made me decide to cancel my subscription was a little quest  called "Soul Prism of the Illidari." Before the 7.2 patch, you had to collect 80 Lingering Soul Fragments, which were only dropped from the last boss of a dungeon, and you could only collect 10 per week.

Around the beginning of that quest for me, I saw the trailer for the Middle Earth: Shadow of War game and thought "Boy, that sure looks like fun." I realized that I wasn't having that any more with WoW, so I canceled. Collecting 80 of those things were just stopping me from enjoying the content that I wanted.

With 2 months left in my WoW subscription, I decided to make the most of it and continue playing. I would grind those Lingering Soul Fragments! Biting the bullet, I played on. As if on cue, barely a day after I canceled my sub, I got my first Legendary - [Zeks Exterminatus]. Are you kidding me, Blizz?

I was, of course, very happy. My ilvl skyrocketed at that point. I was now comfortable enough to do my own Mythic+ dungeons. Did you know that completing a Mythic+2 gave you TWO Lingering Soul Fragments at the end of the dungeon? I didn't! I was now easily filling my quota of 10 fragments a week.

It dawned on me shortly after, that maybe, just maybe, I was having fun. I resigned to the feeling quickly, and about a week later patch 7.2 came out. I had joined a guild and shortly after I realized that the requirement dropped from 80 Lingering Soul Fragments down to 40. It was finished! I was prepared!

And that's how I quit WoW, enjoying myself on Discord with my guildmates playing around in Mythic+ Dungeons. Will I return? Of course I will! Just not anytime soon.

What have I done with my time in between then and this blog post? I completed Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor, which I bought on Steam one thousand years ago and obviously never played. Afterwards, I completed the For Honor campaign. I wanted to get these single-player games out of my system, essentially making those purchases worthwhile. It was fun, in fact, it was a lot of fun.

To get my MMO fix, I bought into Black Desert Online. I've always wanted to try it, but what was stopping me was that it wasn't on Steam. Not even a week after I purchased BDO, it was announced that it would be releasing on Steam. Go figure my luck, right?

I'm currently playing The Lord of the Rings Online and loving every second of it. The game is absolutely gorgeous and the quests are written so well.

I've obviously stopped blogging. Can you tell? Those damn single-player games...

Truthfully, I miss being in an MMO community. I've been a week into LOTRO and am waiting for the right time to join a guild (I'm just playing BDO super casually.)

MMOs are a lot more fun on Discord, and that was what I learned most from my WoW experience. Discord has changed the way PC games are played. I think I'll write about that next.

Till then, enjoy!