Bad 2 Good - What worked for me?

LIFE: Unleash The Archers @ The Velvet Underground

The last time Unleash the Archers were in Toronto was 2015. Having only started listening to them this year, I wouldn't let this chance at The Velvet Underground pass me by.

It felt like a Monday: cold, raining, depressing weather, and tiring to stand in line. The crowd, which arrived quickly, was quiet.

That is, till Lutharo came on stage. They brought the place to life; their presence and great sound evident from the start. I was most impressed and you could tell these guys know their stuff. They seemed so comfortable up there, just having fun, rubbing beards and touching nipples. It was fun for us to watch, too. Also, vocalist Krista Shipperbottom absolutely killed it. She sang each song with the power to shake the stage. I stood there, right up front and felt it all. She only got stronger through the set as the crowd warmed up to it, which didn't take long. I had seen them in the past, and this was their best performance to date. Will definitely be seeing them again.

Lovely Lutharo

After picking up some Lutharo merch, we headed back into the dense crowd, now obligated to stand by the wall about twice as far as we were before. Not to mention that the Tallest Man On Earth™ stood in front of us, loving Striker with vivid passion and nearly blocking my view. They stormed in with wrath and guns blazing and the most catchy first song. Actually, their whole set was catchy, and they had this classic thrash metal vibe to them. Though it was a good set, I did feel though that it was about 1000 songs too long. They pumped us up plenty, but I think about how we could have maybe benefited from a longer Lutharo set? Or maybe even more from Unleash the Archers? Not too much to nitpick on though, they're a great band! Would love to see them again, too.

Striking Striker

My buddy and I struggled to reach the front of the stage for UTA, but we managed, impolitely packed between other fans. We didn't wait long after Striker, and an industrial track played loudly through the venue to start them off. I liked it, I love industrial, it works for me, and it was a longer version of the intro to their first song, "Awakening." The band entered one by one, and Britney Slayes, the vocalist, of course came in last. She looked fabulous, The Matriarch, in a tight, black outfit and wicked coat. The set was absolutely perfect, each song very carefully selected and executed to perfection. I watched Britney surge with power, close enough to feel her ready to explode. She maintained the same intensity through the whole set and made it look effortless. It was so intense and as I think back about it, I felt truly elevated seeing them that night. There's something that happens to me when I watch live music sometimes, and the last time this happened was when I saw Issues. That is, I only casually used to listen to UTA, but after seeing them live I've listened to Apex on repeat with a different set of ears. I'm so happy I got to see this gifted band, and though I'm being repetitive now, next time they're in town I'll be right there to see it all again.

Unbelievable Unleash The Archers

Alpha: What Worked for Me?

Alpha is a historical drama action film about how one boy survives after an unlikely companionship with a wolf. In doing so, it hopes to tell the story of the first dog. I had low expectations for it, but came out of it quite impressed. There was a lot of thought put into this movie; it was stylistically consistent, had great acting, and they created a fully immersive world.

I was shocked to find the film is not in spoken English. All the actors speak a completely made up language, and they've all bought into it: their actions match what they are apparently saying. They're able to emote through the gibberish of what they say. This made the film quite immersive.

Source: Sony Pictures

The action was very intense and the stakes were high throughout the movie, even though the ending was not a surprise (SPOILER: humans today live with dogs). The ending itself was a bit of a twist, and it made you feel good. I left the theatre feeling like I wanted a dog, and that the world was amazing and everything is great. It's been a while since a film made me feel something like that.

The sets were stunning, whether real or matte painted. The mountains, forests, deserts, and water all seemed like from a different planet, and yet it was also completely familiar, including the extreme weather they faced. This familiarity was abandoned when you explore the relationships humans have with the animals. The animals approach humans curiously or in a predatory way, and  they seem fearless. The first scene, which was a battle scene between a human tribe and bison, was depicted in an epic, fantasy-battle way. It was an interesting choice for the tone, and it worked for me. A great action packed opening like that hooked me right in.

Source: Sony Pictures

Keda, and his wolf Alpha had a great, inspiring friendship and bond in the film. Keda speaks to the wolf as if it can understand him, and it seems to do just that. However, Keda has no idea that it  actually doesn't. This dynamic between them seems almost spiritual; an innocent, ignorant human, reaching out to one not like itself, and forming an unbreakable bond. It was beautiful to watch.

Source: Sony Pictures

There were some cute scenes, too, which came as origin stories to some of the human and dog quirks we have today, such as fetching sticks and responding to whistling. The humour created was subtle, probably because the concept of a joke as we know it today wasn't quite developed in Keda's time.

I liked the score too and I can't wait to give it a listen once it's out. It was all tonally connected to the film, taking all the right cues. I wish I had more to say, but I haven't had the opportunity to listen to it thoroughly. All I remember was the intensity it brought to each scene.

The extreme weather experienced by Keda and how he needed Alpha to survive it all, in the absence of his fellow humans is the main conflict here in the film. I think it's trying to frame how an alliance with nature is what we need right now facing our climate crisis. It's not unheard of that historical fiction uses the past to reflect our current issues. What do you think?

Alpha was an excellent film and I recommend it to all dog fans and fans of historical fiction. It may be based on a flawed premise (there are, after all, no such thing as Alpha wolves), but it's still a good story and worth the watch.

LIFE: A Night with Lights #MMSxLIGHTS

Lights did a special, free show sponsored by the new minty M&Ms on August 28. It was my third time watching her perform this year.

The lineup to get into the venue for door's open was a long one filled mostly with restless youths and some parents. I met my girlfriend in line with a bag of A&W and luckily she was standing fairly close up front. This meant that we were entitled to a standing space close to the stage once we were permitted to enter [because that's how General Admission tickets work, Toronto. Right? RIGHT? /s]

At 8 PM, DCF took the stage. With a band! A drummer and a guitarist joined him, and he played the songs I was familiar with from the last two Lights' concerts I went to. It was certainly different to hear him play with an actual band instead of a background track. The music still had its pop and hip-pop sensibilities, with drum loops playing alongside the live drummer along with some delicate electric guitar work. However, I still don't much care for his voice. He just doesn't have a passion and timbre in his vocals comparable with some of his contemporaries. I want to hear him belt out like Tyler Carter, but instead he sounds like a talented karaoke singer. Use your diaphragm, man.

Leave your mans

Our girl Lights was next and her presence, voice, band, and music was what it was all about. The venue was the smallest one I've seen her play at, and it managed to be a different experience because of it, even though I've seen this setlist twice already. This time, there wasn't much flashiness on stage; she didn't change her outfit once, the lighting was basic, and she just seemed happy to be there despite the humidity. It felt like I was watching any of my favourite "emo" bands playing, since there was a focus on the music and performance of it all. Her standout performances were "Up We Go" and "Moonshine," with the latter getting an emotional moment from her since it wasn't a single on her new album and we all knew the words.

She's powerful

I enjoyed this concert, especially since it was free, but it was a pleasure seeing her again as always.

THE FIRST PURGE: What worked for me?

I've been a big fan of the Purge series since its inception, catching all of them in theatres except for the first one (the original film from 2013, not The First Purge (2018)). I'm not into it necessarily for the thrills, or the satire, or its themes (all of which are interesting), but I am into it for the world building. It is both a foreign and familiar one, packed with enough lore for me to think about for weeks over.

I almost feel that the film was made for people like me. The First Purge will satisfy your every craving for more information about this universe. The characters are interesting, the plot follows along seamlessly as the stakes become ever increasing, and it's all gushing with lore and gore. The soundtrack is superb, reverberating and grimy, with memorable cues. 

The film has lots of characters from somewhat different walks of life. The event takes place on Staten Island, NY, and focuses on male gangster Dimitri (Y'lan Noel), a female community leader Nya (Lex Scott Davis), and her brother Isiah (Joivan Wade), among some other characters. From the other perspective, the government, we have the woman who "creates" the Purge Dr. May Update (Marisa Tomei). Dimitri's story is excellent, and his character experiences some real changes throughout the ordeal, as does Isiah. On the other hand, Nya, as important as she was, plays it a bit stiff, and her delivery sometimes didn't match the danger and intensity of the scene.

Source: Universal Pictures

Additionally, Dr. May's portrayal is confusing. She's not exactly sympathetic, so the conclusion to her arc doesn't make much sense. She stresses that The Purge is merely a scientific experiment, and hopes that people participate in the violence, but is surprised and disappointed once she figures out the government intervened. 

We see how the American people are being shown the Purge through the TV, versus what is actually happening. The film portrays the media almost like another character, with the goal to subdue the world to what's happening. I suppose it's about how fake news can be a real problem, and how a free press is important, since the media in this world is so obviously controlled by the government.

There's some great scenes in here, like one o

f the Purge parties near the beginning of the event. I really wanted to be there, it just looked like so much fun. It turns out that most people's ideas of purging was just a big, fun party. Violence is not the catharsis of the original purge, but instead, hedonism. An interesting touch, and it confuses our strange Doctor as they watch from above. There's another great scene, as Dimitri's gang unravels the mystery of new combatants into the arena that has become Staten Island. It's filmed with heavy fog (from a smoke grenade) and they come out, guns blazing (I'm talking massive guns in both hands). What follows is essentially a sword fight, with sound effects lifted straight from your favourite Medieval-period movie, and it was just so awesome to watch. 

Source: Universal Pictures

Despite all that, the film is padded with some extra characters that actually detract from the world-building and narrative. Two characters are added for our sympathy, but having them dead I think would have made the story more tragic, thus making the ending more satisfying. There's one scene at the beginning I would remove entirely, an interview with a potential Purge candidate. She never comes up in the movie again, and I assume they cut her murders or something from the movie but forgot to cut her introduction.

Altogether though, my complaints are minor to the film. It's short at just over an hour and a half, and its problems are easily forgotten from the rest of its awesomeness. If you're a fan of the series you'll love this movie. 

LIFE: Vans Warped Tour @ Flats @ Budweiser Stage (July 17)

When I was in highschool, I attended the 2007 Vans' Warped Tour in highschool in 2007 at Barrie's Molson Park. My choice of line-up was Protest the Hero, k-os, and Coheed and Cambria, and probably many others I can't remember. So many people attended, and I was amazed by it all, especially for the main stage where Coheed played. The crowd, to me, echoed crowds like the pictures of major Metallica shows I'd seen on the internet.

This is all probably just my memory and not what actually happened, and I was plainly reminded of that when I attended the final leg of the tour in Canada this year on July 17.

To start off, this was a Tuesday, and just as I suspected, plenty of kids filled the meager Flats @ Budweiser Stage.  The first band on the main stage was announced to be Issues, playing at 11:30, and my friend and I had no intention of getting there that early. Our fault, but it still sucked.

When we got there, after taking a walk around the premises, we stopped to see Harm's Way - a fairly heavy band that I've never heard of before. The crowd they gathered was thick pretty thick for the middle of the day. Their energy was intoxicating, however, the music sounded a bit generic. Still a great way to get hyped at the start.

 Next to them performed Tatiana DeMaria, who began her set maybe halway through Harm's Way The contrast couldn't be more evident. She had an Avril Lavigne The Best Damn Thing Vibe, which was awesome. She gave it her everything, though, and it was intoxicating to witness.

We caught Selfish Things afterwards and genuinely enjoyed tail of their set. It wasn't their first song that caught us, and we walked away from them heading to Senses Fail, but as they played a "Song 2" cover from Blur, they reeled us back in. Respect to these guys, but, a lot of bands would be doing covers today.

We tried to watch Senses Fail. Look at the view. When we got their, they played a medley starting with "Toxicity" by System of a Down and including a Limp Bizket song. Altogether, they were good, but I'm completely unfamiliar with their work. I'm sure they were good from what I could see!

We went about this for the rest of the evening, shifting from the main stage to another. That's why we saw We the Kings. We just wanted to check out who was on the main stage at the time. They were alright. Look at the crowd though.

We were getting exhausted at this point, but seeing Everytime I Die, though, changed things. The band was superb, a love letter to the tour and their fans. We unfortunately felt the need to leave early, however, to watch Sum 41.

No regrets there! They came to kick ass and play music and they did just that. It was the anniversary of "Does This Look Infected?" and they played the whole thing, from "The Hell Song" to "Hooch." It was emotional, nostalgic, energetic, and epic. Halfway through it, they inflated that oversized skeleton flipping all of us off. The crowd ate it all up. I wish I made it to the pit for them. I'm excited for their upcoming album now to be honest. Pop punk's not dead.

We took a bit of a break, but went back to the main stage to watch Underoath and got there while Reel Big Fish still performed. After them was Simple Plan, and wouldn't you know it, they rocked it. Playing their "hits" and new material, it made me wonder why I didn't care for them before. Serious respect to them, they controlled the stage.

Finally I can talk about Underoath. What a performance! Give these guys all the credit. While it wasn't as energetic as Sum 41, I won't forget how they played, the connection they had with the crowd, the setlist. I'm surprised I even got a photo in, I was dancing so much.

It's too bad the tour is ending, but I suspect something will come along to take its place. It reminded me how much fun these things can be. I hope whatever comes next is only better. 

FIREWORKS - What worked for me?

"Fireworks, Should We See It From the Side or the Bottom?" [known as just "Fireworks" in English] is a movie in which I have mixed feelings about, for once.

On the one hand, the dialogue was excellent. The kids in the movie (I believe around 12 years old) appropriately sound their age, right down to calling one another "dumbasses." It's not over-the-top like South Park, but it doesn't shy away from the language either. They also speak differently among one another than they do in front of adults. The main incident framing the story involves these kids wondering if fireworks are flat or round when they explode, and I simply love that. The reactions this question gets from everybody involved is just great.

On the other hand, the movie almost doesn't have a plot, and by that I mean, none of the characters are active agents in the story. The macguffin, a beautiful glass time-travelling ball, is actually the object that resolves conflicts and moves the plot forward, and the main characters are pulled along for the ride. Norimichi has an interesting problem to work through, and I enjoy the musings of Nazuna. I just don't remember any of their problems truly being addressed or resolved by the end; it's unsatisfying.

The quality of the animation is excellent and blends 3D CGI and traditional-looking animation for some interesting effects. The movie is well edited and directed in that sense, and I can get past the plot problem because of its beauty.

I would recommend this movie for something light and beautiful to watch on an ugly, stormy day.

YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE - What worked for me?

"You Were Never Really Here" might be my favourite movie of the year. It's a complete masterpiece of visual storytelling with barely any dialogue and a superb score.

Nothing I've seen this year has been quite like it. Joe's backstory is given through flashbacks and Joaquin Phoenix's marvelous performance. At no point does anyone ever ask him, "Hey, remember the war you were in?" Since the movie is adapted from a novel, this is the strongest point for me to take home after watching it. I'm sure the novel deals with Joe's backstory in a more straightforward way, but the plot in the movie is only the present and that's the story. I need to keep this in mind for my own work. Though I've done hours of world building, only some of it is truly ever a part of any story I tell. I only really need to bring it out to build character.

The soundtrack and score also works with each scene naturally and envelops the audience. Johnny Greenwood laid out some master work here. Sometimes, it even breaks the fourth wall, and normally I'm not a fan of that, but for once I actually liked that. Perhaps I'm coming around to it. It's right at the very beginning of the movie and it's such a good song.

The plot is fairly straightforward, based on what few scenes there are that are needed to depict it. The devil's in the details here, and it's totally worth the watch.

WRITING: Lessons from editing

In a previous post I spoke about the difficulty of editing one of my longer pieces into something shorter for an assignment.

It ultimately started when a friend read it and told me her focuses that I shaped the edit around. I had several trajectories of where the story could head based on what would be cut, but I'm glad the direction it took based on her objective feedback.

Unfortunately, this meant cutting my first scene entirely. There was far too much description and detail, and (while I love it and still do and think there's nothing wrong with it,) for this short-short story format it wasn't really necessary. In the process I learned a lesson about writing a beginning. When I was first writing it, I went back to add the extra detail scene because my main character's felt too artificial, like they didn't arrive there at the same time or something. In the re-write/cut it was far more natural, since the story was completed and I knew what the characters would be accomplishing,.

I ended up keeping all the elements that were important to me: the plot, side plots, and a random tangent. I learned that a reader won't know what I cut, what was changed from the older versions. While I do appreciate the detail I ended up scrapping, it's taught me a lesson on what's really required to write a story. It doesn't take much, really, just a character and a problem. All that detail I created can be added to the wiki.

My Reading and Writing Goals for July 2018

My reading and writing goals for July:

• Blog at least twice a week
• Edit my wiki at least once a week
• Enjoy summer

Blaring heat from the sun led us into a beautiful beginning to the month of July. Yesterday I saw a beautiful fireworks display at Amesbury Park, which is something I haven't checked out in years. The show lasted twelve minutes and progressed to an impressive finale.

About last months goals: I only completed one of them. I didn't end up blogging at least twice or three times a week like I wanted (but I was close), I didn't finish reading my novel, and I didn't submit a short story per week to my class (one week missed). However, I did edit my "long" story and submitted it as my last assignment. It was a task far more difficult than I thought it would be. 

For July I'll focus on keeping things simpler. I'll still try blogging at least twice a week. On top of that, I'll make a weekly edit to the wiki, and I'll keep track of what I do and mention it in next month's goals post. Lastly, I'll be starting on my Novel Writing class this month. It's also my birthday month, so keeping things simple for now while I don't know my workload or plans yet is probably the best route.

Happy July! 

A squirming Smokey

WRITING: How edit?

The longest short story I have ever wrote is 19 pages double spaced or 4362 words. My task this weekend is to make it 10 pages double spaced. So what do I cut? Everything within the story seems important right now and I'm having a hard time deciding what to do.

I'll admit that there's a lot of backstory right now. How much of it do I need? Does Frances need to pine over Freddic back home? Probably not, but that changes the ending. What about Frances' childhood?

Whatever I end up doing, I can't seem to make a simple cut and retain the story as is. I guess my apprehension stems from laziness. I had the same problem with my last class, being reluctant to change things, but the end result of that was fantastic. I'd never go back to that draft I edited, and I hope writing this out helps me remember that.

Seems like I'm distracting myself right now...

WRITING: Worldbuilding and Wiki Worries

Am I world building enough? (to be clear, I mean updating my world wiki) The answer, is a bit of yes and no.

I feel like the progress and strides I made the past few weeks have completely stalled. My focus has been with trudging through the list of wanted pages (pages which are linked to but don't exist yet) and bringing them to life. This usually means writing a sentence or two, creating a parent page, and adding tags. It's made me feel accomplished, in a way, but I think what's unsatisfactory about it is I have no other goal right now other than completing the list.

When I started the wiki, it was recommended to me to start with a small place, like a bar, and then expand outward, asking questions like "what street is it on?" "who are the neighbours?" and moving outwards like that until you're at the continent level, then planetary level, and etcetera. Instead, I started with a city and moved outward from there. As a result, I have the name of the continent and the twelve countries, as well as the Empire and some politics. But ask me to walk you through Amherst and I'd have trouble telling you where the cheapest meat vendor is.

Did I make a mistake? No, I don't think I did; after all, I could always pick a building in some town and try the recommended process like that. What I've found most useful for my writing is actually the names I came up with for the countries. The more I write, the more solid these countries feel. 

I did write another story (for class) taking place in fantasyland. Writing is the simplest, most organic form of world building, but in the first draft I included far too much back story. On the stripped-down second draft, the town, a border, a road, a supply chain, a city and a country become more fleshed out than ever in my wiki. This is the most progress I've had in a while, and I'm now satisfied.

What's the next step? I'm not sure. I have a general sense of the world now, countries, names of towns. Is it so important to establish 700 years of supply chain routes and guild leaders? Maybe not, if it doesn't come up in the story. Not sure how I feel about this sentiment since it might mean a world that feels less lived-in. 

WRITING: I wrote a poem!

On the subway ride to class yesterday, I wrote a poem in my notebook. I don't think I've written a poem since elementary school, and you might be able to tell. I picked the syllables per line (5) and subject (my headache) and let it happen.

It went kind of like this:

And here it is:

Each step brings the pain
A curt reminder
That I'll be insane

Choice priorities
New gear and gimmicks
Head not in the knees

The fight for balance
In march and in life
Add to my talents

How was that? *dodges tomato thrown at stage*

Some lines are literal (too literal?), such as the first one. On the other hand, I have no idea what I meant "Head not in the knees." That means it's profound, I think.

What's interesting is next week for class we are reading examples of poetry to get a grasp on how writers use language and the ways it can be manipulated. I've been desiring to read poetry for a while now, specifically The Illiad, but I haven't found a translation I enjoy so far. Almost all of the ones I found have translated it into prose, which I suppose is correct in a way, but I really want to enjoy it as a poem. Really sink my teeth into the words and read something for what it is, that is, words. I don't want to read it passively, either. Just to study the art of word structure and the images that they can invoke on their own without the confines of prose. I'll find it one day.

LIFE: Dance Gavin Dance @ Danforth Music Hall

On June 11, 2018 I saw Dance Gavin Dance at the Danforth Music Hall.

I'll begin again by saying "I don't listen to the band." I actually went to see the second opener, Erra. I arrived more or less just in time to see them and I'm glad I didn't miss it since they were magnificent. Their setlist mostly contained songs from their latest album "Drift," but they also played a new song that I hadn't heard before. I'm a little surprised by how lively the crowd was, definitely happy about that, it seems a lot of people are familiar with the group. I think Erra stole the show, however, I'm bias since they are one of my favourite bands.

Next up was I See Stars, and I have mixed feelings about these guys. On the one hand, the venue was alive when they were playing. Everyone was moving; shaking their hips or at least headbanging. But on the other, I couldn't get into the lead's voice. It was raw, but it felt untrained, and not in a good way. I did like their song "White Lies," though (I had to ask someone what it was called). That song featured the lead and the keyboardist/programmer singing together and the call and response worked well. It was just something about the group. While it was flashy with a great light show, the band was constantly lit as a silhouette. It was weird, for example, during "White Lies," when I couldn't differentiate the two vocalists really. The music was otherwise basic and I couldn't get into it.

Finally, though, was Dance Gavin Dance. Now to explain when I said I don't listen to them: I've only listened to them for the past two weeks and exclusively to their setlist. I was prepared, and just like the audience, I was bouncing all over the place to the music. It's so fantastic to be in a crowd so invigorated like that. At one point, there was two pits, but I lost my energy rather quickly and resigned to the edge of one. The band was having a good time as well, with both leads dancing to the music as often as they could (I've always liked it when singers who don't play instruments dance during their sets. It's like the only thing they can do besides sing and it's awesome.)

That being said, I'm not sure I would go see another DGD concert. Maybe I would if the openers were as good as these. I'm disappointed I missed Sianvar, though. It turns out A Lot Like Birds' guitarist is Sianvar's bassist, so I bought their two releases at the merch stand at the end of the show. Altogher, it was a great night and happy I saw Erra play and hear one of their new songs.

WRITING: Re-introductions and Character

So I'm reading "Before They are Hanged" by Joe Ambercrombie, which is the second book of the "First Law" Trilogy, and as such all the major players have already been introduced in the first one.

But the one thing I've noticed is the way Joe re-introduces these characters to the reader: he makes it seem quick and easy.

The first time we hear from Jezal is in the following passage:

Jezal gave vent to a ragged sigh. Why on earth the old man had undertaken to enlighten him was past his understanding. The towering self-interest, perhaps, of the mildly senile was to blame. In any case, Jezal was unshakable in his determination not to learn a thing.

It's also Jezal's perception of Bayaz, first of the Magi who is the "old man" being referred to here. The use of the word ragged to describe his sigh gives a tell about his mannerisms, and directly how he feels about this situation. Us being told he doesn't want to learn a thing reveals how he thinks about things that aren't already known to him. He has things figured out already.

This one shows us what he thinks about the setting, Calcis:

Jezal glanced around him, unimpressed in the extreme. If history was nothing more than age, then Calcis, ancient city-port of the Old Empire, was plainly rich with it. If history went further—to grandeur, to glory, to something which stirred the blood—then it was conspicuously absent.

This is how we find out about the city, through his perspective, and how he simply doesn't care for it's past and history. Through his apathy we learn about the setting itself. This is the first time we really hear anything about Calcis in the series.

Let's take a look at Brother Longfoot, their navigator, along with Logen Ninefingers, in conversation. We already know that Logen is a badass, but this is how we are re-introduced to him:

Brother Longfoot grinned over his shoulder at this sorry display. 'How are your injuries progressing, my friend?

'Painfully,' grunted Logen, through gritted teeth.

'And yet, I suspect, you have endured worse.'

'Huh.'

The wounds of the past were many. He'd spent most of his life in some amount of pain, healing too slowly from one beating or another. He remembered the first real wound he'd ever taken, a cut down his face that the Shanka had given him. Fifteen years old, lean and smooth-skinned and the girls in the village had still liked to look at him. He touched his thumb to his face and felt the old scar. He remembered his father pressing the bandage to his cheek in the smoky hall, the stinging of it, wanting to shout but biting his lip. A man stays silent.

That last part - A man stays silent was a superb line. What we learn is that Logen carries a great weight of the past with him, and that he's lived a hard life. He's also one to meet expectations, and not exceed them. He knows his place. All of this with one paragraph.

I'd like to examine these more since I think this is a useful technique when writing short stories. Get to the point with the characters. Who are they, what motivates them, and what do they care about?

LIFE: Diabetes Hope Foundation's 20th Anniversary Symposium

Since receiving a scholarship from the the Diabetes Hope Foundation (DHF) in 2009, I've had the personal benefit of volunteering for them ever since. This includes being part of the Scholarship Advisory Committee, where we read and select winners for their eponymous scholarship.

I really enjoy reading the scholarships. Everyone has their own story with their diabetes and I absolutely love learning about each and every one. The choices this year were difficult to make as most of the applications were top-notch.

This effort all culminated on June 3, 2018, where the DHF celebrated their 20th anniversary for their Scholarship Program. The day couldn't have gone better.

It began early in the morning at 9 AM, where I watched a panel discussion among our alumni who focus on teaching and mental health. I learned a lot from that! Did you know you can request to waive the standard 3-month waiting period before receiving benefits from your work if you play the diabetes card? What about using your diabetes as a way to prove your skills in an interview? Time management and self-care being some of those. I never thought about doing that before. Thank you, panel.

As for myself, I was on the panel for "Math, Technology, and Engineering." Why I was selected is a bit beyond me, although I suppose my career does require a Science degree. The panel discussion went well; our moderator took us off-script for a bit and asked us some good questions. I had nothing prepared but felt I pulled it off. I know my story very well.

The reception in general was very nicely put together. As well, the weather was cooperating. The sweltering heat of the previous week did not show itself to us, and in the old Hart House at U of T, that was a godsend. 

The evening concluded with the Scholarship Awards Ceremony. There were five keynote speakers, each sharing their diabetes stories and their own struggles and advice with the new 2018 winners. They were both entertaining and inspiring, striking all the right chords with the audience. I saw a few people's eyes welling up with tears (do I count my own?) Even a bird flew into the hall during the festivities to be a part of the audience.

I'm also glad my girlfriend was able to attend. I really wanted her to meet the amazing people I know through the DHF, and see what the group is all about. Introducing her to my diabetic family, so to speak.

Another year, another ceremony, but that's not it for 2018. Coming up soon will be the Scholarship Committee's debrief for this year as well as what we want to change for the next application coming up. 

Thank you to the DHF for accepting me in the family and giving me the opportunity to be a part of it all. I truly love the experience of being a part of this community. 

My Reading and Writing Goals for June

A summary of my goals:

• Finish reading "Before They Are Hanged" by Joe Ambercrombie
• Write three "3-5" page short stories
• Edit my "long" short story and submit it to class
• Blog every other day (two or three times a week)

A lot has changed for me in May on the reading and writing side of my life. I started blogging on Wordpress, and intend to more frequently. I started my Creative Writing Through Reading class and I'm very pleased with how that's going. I also completed the longest short story I've ever written, which is definitely a big accomplishment for me. I also finished reading "The Blade Itself" and started reading the next book in the trilogy, "Before They Are Hanged" all thanks to ebooks!

I want to read the novel by the end of the month. I think I can pull this off simply by getting in as much reading as I can with the found time method: if I have time to open the app on my phone, I have time to read any amount of the story. Anything. Let's just finish this, okay?

I have my class to worry about now when it comes to writing. That's two assignments, and on top of that I'm encouraged to submit work each week of class and I want to do that at least twice. That means I need to submit a short story every week of the month.

I'm fortunate that the final assignment aligns with my goal of finalizing a second draft of the aforementioned short story. I'll be making a readable version of that story to hand in and get some feedback for. One interesting thing for me is that I wrote half of that story by hand in a notebook, a new technique to me I've been enjoying. In fact, that's the case for almost all my blog posts. It's as if my wrist thought of what to write by itself. It comes out horribly, but at least I get it out of my system and by the time I transcribe it to a word processor it's at least half-readable.

I want to blog at least every other day. I'll take days off on weekends, maybe, so that will be about two or three posts a week.

This month I'll also be reflecting on how I'm spending my time and how I can fit in more time with physical books. Can I do it? Find out next month!

LIFE: Slayer @ Budweiser Stage

Slayer performed their last concert at Toronto's Budweiser Stage on May 29, 2018 and I was fortunate enough to watch them.

I never listened to Slayer before, but I do now. To prepare for the show, I queued up their setlist in a Spotify playlist and it didn't take long for me to head bang listening to those killer riffs.

I don't normally drive to these things, even to such out-of-the-way / poor-transit-options places such as the Bud Stage, but leaving work at 5 made it the only practical option. Besides, once I got there, and much to my dismay, everyone else was doing it. Lakeshore was crowded and so were the closest parking lots. I managed to find a parking lot on the Exhibition grounds for $12, which is far too reasonable, and made the "far" 10 minute walk over to the venue.

Anthrax was playing when I arrived, and of course I'm not familiar with their work, but I did know that one song that was playing as I was reaching my seat. In my section, 14 kilometres from the stage, people were sitting for most of their act, except for the last song. Then, with all of us standing, the band led us to sing "Oh Canada." The crowd even diverged during the French and English parts. I stood there, silent and impressed, and also respectful, I hope, since I was tempted to sit. From what I saw, Anthrax was excellent, with enough energy to get me excited to see the rest of the show. They're another band to add to my list.

Next up was Lamb of God, and my section stood up for them. On my left was a guy built like a fridge, and he was standing comfortably next to my buddy who got there just in time to my right. That left me to stand behind them, this wall of men, and there was no where else to go for any of us. I tried not to let that ruin the show for me, but I was quite uncomfortable, and my legs were starting to ache - I wanted to dance, to mosh, but we were all standing, and I was standing in the worst possible position. Besides that though, Lamb of God performed well, enjoyable to watch and listen even though I only knew their song "Laid to Rest."

Slayer (f*ckin' Slayerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr), was last, of course. I wasn't going to let discomfort get to me, so when they started, I stood quickly in front of the man-wall. I thought I screwed over the fridge next to me, but in actuality the arrangement was more comfortable for everyone involved. Thank goodness I got that out of the way.

But how was their performance? Superb. They nailed the large-stadium format nicely, with pyrotechnics and a great stage presence that I could only tell from the screens (see above). My neck hurts from headbanging.

The night ended with tears in Tom Araya's eyes as he said goodbye to Toronto from the stage for the last time. I held it together. The woman in our row next to my buddy said he has the nicest smile in the industry. I have to agree, and seeing him well up and say thank you to us was touching.

I'm glad and feeling blessed I had the chance to see them at all. I'm not a major fan of the venue, but it's the best performance I've seen from the crappy seats. The three bands I saw played really well and I'd consider seeing them again. Wish I could say the same for Slayer, but that was quite the final send off. No complaints. Cheers.

WRITING: Showing and Telling

I've always believed in showing and not telling when writing: let the characters act, and let the reader think about it their own way. That's the beauty of writing, isn't it? To share with the reader an abstract idea, and let them think about what you wrote. Like a movie, right?

I can't help but notice that my most recent works are almost all action, with very little summary. I would get a certain pleasure and satisfaction from writing a solid scene, where the characters just acted naturally, and I simply wrote down what they were doing. I used summary (or "telling") as a way of glossing over something, or as a means to get the next scene rolling. When I wrote out the actual action instead, the story evolved organically. In writing in action-mode-only, sometimes that scene I wanted to happen, the one I planned for, couldn't, and thus the resulting plot felt far more realistic. I was using summary as a crux, and not using it properly.

We learned in class this week that it's not always so cut and dry. That the summary, the telling, is almost as important as the showing. This was a breath of fresh air for me!

You want to summarize when your characters are doing something habitual, or something that isn't happening presently. We looked at "This is Happy" by Camila Gibb to see what this means.

In order to know someone who is at some level unknowable, you must leave yourself wide open. If you don't, you foreclose the possibility of learning something critical about this person you need, your parent, the person upon whom your survival depends. It's like time-laps photography; your lens at maximum aperture in order to capture something fleeting and elusive. The problem becomes one of calibration. How to protect yourself in the process. How to capture something without going blind.

In the above passage, that's all "telling." An interesting anecdote about people.

This next one blends telling and showing:

We were too young to understand what was happening. My father came over a year in advance to find a job and a place for us to live. I cried when this strange man lifted me up at the airport. Three months after our arrival, a package arrived from my paternal grandmother. She was a great maker of fudge and had sent us a box of it. I remember the sense of anticipation as my moher peeled back the lid and the collective disappointment as the contents were revealed: green and furry, having spent six weeks on a ship. I understood, somehow, that something between here and there had been broken.

Camila effortlessly does this throughout the excerpt we read, the strategic use of showing and telling in the same paragraph. She very broadly introduces a concept and inserts specific instances to back it up, to show us what she means. It's quite a treat to read.

If I can bring up one final example, it will be from what I'm currently reading, "Before They are Hanged" by Joe Abercrombie:

'Merchants,' grunted Harker. All the merchants in the world, it looks like. They crowded round stalls laden with produce, great scales for the weighing of materials, blackboards with chalked-in goods and prices. They bellowed, borrowed and bartered in a multitude of different languages, threw up their hands in strange gestures, shoved and tugged and pointed at one another. They sniffed at boxes of spice and sticks of incense, fingered at bolts of cloth and planks of rare wood, squeezed at fruits, bit at coins, peered through eye-glasses at flashing gemstones. Here and there a native porter stumbled through the crowds, stooped under a massive load.

In this scene, Glotka is walking towards the seat of power in Dagoska, and taking in the sights as he walks by. It's an excellent way to describe the city to the reader, with Glotka being a fish-out-of-water, this is as new to us as it is him. That being said, the merchants are quite well animated here, and I imagine each of their gestures and actions being incredibly important to them. How would Glotka know, though? So all we get is this summary.

"Telling" is a lot like essay writing. It's what textbooks do. It's what I'm doing right now. But it's no less important than "showing." I'm glad I finally learned that, and I hope I can practice it soon.

WORLDBUILDING: Map Making

I tried drawing a Medieval city for the first time.

Truthfully, the visual aspect of my world is the most challenging for me. I find my best images come out in text, either in a story or on the wiki, though I wish I could be more picturesque about it. I think the settings I create in my head are too simple.

I've run one D&D campaign in my life and for the most part got by with Googling "large d&d city map" or "free d&d dungeon map." For my writing of Fantasyland I haven't bothered to make any maps of my own.

I suppose it's because I wanted my imagination to take my characters where they need to be and where they would just go naturally. It works, and I'm not sure a visual map might make things easier. However, I wonder what kind of stories I can write with a map in front of me.

So I opened up this video which sat in my "Watch Later" queue on Youtube for far too long and followed along with The Questing Beast to varying success. His idea is to build the city organically. That means to start with a main road, and as the city becomes more important, some roads will lead to that road. As people begin to settle, they'll want to take shortcuts to the roads, and that's because buildings are in their way. For our purposes, we do the roads first and then the buildings. What results is beautiful, in that satisfaction-is-beauty kind of way.

My first map looked like my first map ought to look. The roads are far too wide, contributing to the strange X-shape from overhead. Still, it might be a cool concept for some type of town at a crossroads.

My next map I tried something a little differently. When it came time to divide the blocks of buildings to face the roads, I penciled in some of the main roads, just as a reminder of where the people were walking. I found that this created a more natural feel to my design of the city, and I think it shows. This one makes a bit more sense to me. And it looks a bit like a Fish Head.

Cities, or neighborhoods within cities today might be better off designed in such a way. A city looks nicer when citizens determine where buildings go based on their foot traffic. It's nice to walk everywhere, a city is for the people living in it, after all.

I'm looking forward to drawing more maps in the future. I've always enjoyed city-building games like Cities: Skylines and Lethis: Path of Progress, and to be honest I got the same sort of excitement making these pictures. Fish Head city might become the setting of my next Frances story. In it, he'll find himself investigating a crime. I was going to set it in Amherst, but I think it might be fun to develop Fish Head city more and figure out what all those buildings do.